One after another,
Day after day
and second as it passes
I am beginning to realize
an unfortunate bunch of things .
Sharp as pins,
as every word pours into my ears
leaving deep and painful scratches.
With every letter they drop ,
My dreams keep getting vaguer.
Far and further away it’s moving
as it is blindly escaping out of my grasps.
Words like , “they are going to judge me to death”, “I am not afraid” echoes across the vacant halls of my head.
And what not does the anxious and depressed mind ponder about?
I am afraid ..There, I finally admitted it..
What else am I to do?
They say you have to be so damn popular,
The queen,rich girl and all that show off vibes is highly demanded.
Well, I don’t possess any such qualities.
Aims of being a rich princess was never a my kind of thing.
Speaking of popularity, ‘YES’ I really was one of those “Popular Princess”
Back in those days when my style inspired many.
I am still the same person but the environment.
It feels like the universe tilted upside down while I am yet standing on my ground.
Firm as ever in my own position.
(I feel like the salad in the middle of a giant burger.All compressed and sweaty with pressure.)
Amidst all these people where I am the only odd human
It isn’t anywhere close to easy.
I’m really undergoing shock right now.
I never dared expect life to be damn easy
but I never expected it to be exaggeratingly hard either.
They say ‘oh you’re never going to be judged but now I see’.
JOKE! UGH……….Drama ,it really is.
I keep promising my self “I’ll never back down”
But where is the guarantee?
The guarantee is nowhere.
I will just shut my mouth and most importantly my mind and follow my destiny.
I used to think following your destiny is good but leading it is best.
The truth is I’m lost.
It’s time I start packing my guts and at the same time never forget to be me.
It’s time to bring on the change and also keeping in mind “be you”
I don’t know where to commence but my only hope breathing is ‘prayers’.
And the rest?
Let me give it a rest.