A death.

Plumes of dense white smoke where billowing out of her nostrils as well as her mouth as she idly smokes a crushed cigarette.

A partially crashed ,nasty champagne bottle crawls across the dark garage.

She raises her lighter as she finds her way through the junk,behind her a thousand smeared graffiti blows up.

Her dark smudged eyes scanning the place,looking for any indications of others.

She gives one last look inside and drags the garage door down.

She rubbed the bench of her jet black Indian bike drowsily until she was on the verge of breaking down.That reminded her of a tattoo she wouldn’t want to see ..a key locking a heart and two letters.Rolling her eyes , she pulled her sleeves to conceal it.

She hopped onto her bike and sped up the hills into the darkness of midnight.

She rode like she didn’t care because all that she cared about was long gone.

In the middle of a lonely,cold night a drunk girl stops at  a heart thudding peak of a hill and stares down at the ignorant world.

What do these people know?

Nothing she thought……

If there was anything they cared about..materialism,wealth..that’s all they know.

Do they know what is feelings? ..life? pain?..

Oh! they think we have no life because we loiter around and lie behind garages.

We are misfits.Dirty misfits.

She exploded into tears in front of the thousand city lights.

Every drop rolled down her scarred pale cheeks mirroring the images of the golden city.

She gasped.

Swallowing her pain for the last time.

She sighed.

Then breath for the last time…

And slept…








(all credit goes to we heart it and pinterest for featured image and the gif)



Don’t you feel like slamming all the doors and locking yourself in your room at times.

How else to handle that screwed life.

Just pull out the bed sheets and bang all your stuffs against the wall until all you have is fine dust that satisfies you.

Scream like a savage creature and release deep sobs in the dark.

Doesn’t that feel like the only living escape at times.

Shatter the window pane and see the fresh,crimson texture on your arms and legs.

What an insane relief!

Every dark and heavy tear that rolls down the cheek carrying the remainder of smudged eyeliner steals away some of the ghastly pain that the heart would just stumble and fall if it holds on to it any longer.

As I say,”I am slowly giving up”.


Yea I’ m “ok”

Crumpled faded secrets formed a blanket around the place.

As I walk all by myself hearing the crinkling and crumbling below my dusty converse it dooms over me that I in a completely different universe.

Oh I have lost so much.

With every chilly breeze striking me, a thousand memories and flashbacks explode over my ghastly galaxy.

Spinning my universe over and over.


And at the same time the tiny drops of decent rain intertwined with my helpless streams somehow reach the tip of my tongue stimulating an expression that you wouldn’t see in a million years.That divergent and grotesque is the pain.

Somehow I loose track of time and fall for the pain of letting go.

For letting it all just flow out of my grasp with no obstacles.

The pain behind the theory of the world is what wrenches even more.

The more I realize what goes on , the more part of me is being shredded apart.

Those days that I am bereft of lasted forever and ended so soon.

Cheeks keep glowing red

Lips trembling

Ears ever active listening for sounds appearing from a distance out of grasp.

And then the music shuffles , tossing me into an ocean of recollections.

Watching me drown….

It all has altered so much.

I am beginning to accept the changes ……….or not?

Maybe I was in way too much joy that I did not realize what I had…..

Cold and alone is my status.Just letting you know.

People? Humans?

Everything freaks me out now.

I feel deserted.

And why not?

I don’t know who I was.

And I can’t believe there was someone else in me.

Maybe I am yet who I am and by grace the person is still in me but in a hideaway.

She is hiding because she doesn’t like it outside.

There is no way she would face the people.

And nothing can force her out of her place because she thinks that’s where she belongs now.